So there’s another guy. I know, I know, I promised myself I’d stay single for a semester following this whole Andrew debacle. But I just can’t seem to keep myself away! I’ll start from the beginning.
Last semester when I first joined the tennis team, Sue asked me on the first day,
“So, who’s the cutest one on the team??”. I looked around the courts, excited to be exchanging girl talk with a new friend. I looked across the courts, and spotted a guy completely dominating the other player. He was a middle-eastern or Indian guy, long hair pulled back in a pony tail, sporting bright orange sneakers and a Nadal-style headband. He had a deep voice, joking with his buddies about his racket or something. I pointed at him. Of course I was still with Andrew at this point, but this was harmless girl talk.
“Oooo, you like Bobby?? He’s single, I could totally hook you guys up” She offered.
“Nah”, I explained “I have a boyfriend”. Later during practice I told Sue that I needed to buy some racket grip. She called Bobby over,
“Hey Bobby – Cady needs to go to the pro-shop, don’t you need to go tomorrow?”
He did. We made plans to meet up the next day. This is how it all started. From there Bobby and I became great friends.
We played tennis a lot together; we were perfect doubles partners. We didn’t talk much over the summer, but the following fall we went right back to being friends. Whenever we were on the court together, everyone commented on the incredible chemistry we had. Before I was even positive I liked him (in more than a friendly way), I had multiple people approach me asking if we were dating. They bothered Bobby about it too. Sue said over and over how great we would be as a couple. Everyone saw us together before we even did.
Over time our relationship grew. The initial attraction I felt toward him never faded – in fact it grew stronger and stronger with each passing day. Bobby is incredibly smart. He’s the president of the tennis team, a chemical engineering major, and taking premed requirements at the same time “to keep options open”. He has such an incredible view on life… he’s creative, always waiting to pounce on the next opportunity to make something happen, open minded, easy going, curious about the world and how things work, adventurous, and well traveled. He’s so interesting, and exciting! I’ll call him on the phone to ask a quick question, and we end up talking for three hours.
He’s incredibly thoughtful too. He loves his little sister more than anyone I’ve ever seen. His mom told me when she was first born, Bobby (who was 3 at the time), would hold her for hours and hours, staring at her with the biggest smile on his face. They grew up very close to each other. Bobby and his sister both started playing tennis and taking private lessons around the same time. At one point they were equally talented. Eventually however his parents ran out of money, and could only afford to continue sending one of the kids through private training camps. Their coach at the time saw more potential in Bobby’s sister than he did in Bobby, so his parents pulled Bobby out of competitive sports when he was about 10 years old. He continued to play recreationally, but quickly lost the level he was at previously. Currently his sister is the top of the tennis team ladder at her college. From the time Bobby stopped getting lessons, he had to sit back and watch his little sister take all the glory and attention. This would make any normal person angry, jealous, and bitter. But instead of resenting his sister, Bobby turned into her biggest fan. He attends every single one of there tournaments, helps coach her, sends her care packages to college, drives 6 hours to watch her college tennis matches, and talks to her every single day.
He also remembers everything I tell him, even the smallest silliest things (like how I hate driving though drive-throughs because of the time I got the car stuck at McDonalds). He appreciates everything about me, right down to the things I don’t even notice about myself. He makes me feel confident, and he has honestly helped me to love myself and all sorts of things about me.
I know it’s not good to compare relationships, but I can’t help myself and I’m sorry. Andrew was never phased by anything. Even the most exciting things in the world and in both his and my own life, he never expressed amazement toward anything. He would be happy mabey, but never in awe. I know he loved me, but I was alway kinda doubtful about why, or how much. Bobby is truly in awe of me, completely. He loves me, and expresses it in such an effective way. He points out specific things, tells me every day, and gets excited about things simply because I’m excited about them. I’m not trying to say anything bad about Andrew, or that I wouldn’t consider getting back together with him. I’m merely trying to explain a tiny part of why I’m so purely happy when I’m around Bobby. He makes me feel like I’m worth something, that I’m treasured, that I’m a rare gem in a mountain of pebbles. And he does all this while staying true to himself. He doesn’t say that he can’t live without me, or that if we ever grew apart he’d be miserable and die. I wouldn’t want it to be like that. He does say though that he’s the luckiest guy in the world when he’s with me, and that he’s going to do everything possible to hold onto me because I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to him.
Mabey it’s unfair for me to compare Andrew and Bobby. With Andrew I remember the full two year relationship, but the part that’s most fresh in my memory was last 6 months or so when the spark was fading. With Bobby, all I have to compare is this month that we’ve been (kind of) together. It’s still in the “honeymoon phase”. Will this relationship with Bobby grow stale just as the one with Andrew did? Will I realize that Andrew was my perfect match all along, and is spending time with Bobby going to impact my chances as getting back together with him? Or is Bobby my true match, and I’m hesitant because of how quickly things ended with Andrew and started with him? Or mabey neither of them are right for me, and I’m wasting my emotions, effort, energy, and time for personal growth? More of these thoughts in my next post… stay tuned.
cadythinks 